Yesterday we went to visit some friends who welcomed home their first baby, little Elijah Stone, last Thursday. He was three days old. So tiny! While we were there, another couple they knew stopped by with their 6 week old. My little Eden is only 10 weeks old, yet we were the oldest "couple" there. It was classic....three new babies sucking at three swollen boobs while three tired, ecstatic, hopeful and confused mommies sat side-by-side on the couch and swapped experiences and encouragement with barely a breath in between sentences. What relief and comfort to sit there with two other new mommies who know exactly what I am feeling and are exactly where I am at.
(And, for the record, Eden was NOT the biggest one there. The six-week-old had her beat by a long shot.)
Today has been hard for me. Having Hilary here for a week was wonderful. I had an extra pair of arms to hold Eden. Something to do everyday. Someone to play Scrabble with while I nursed. Now that she is gone I am all of a sudden home alone with mountains of laundry, piles of dishes, dust bunnies all over the floor and no food in the fridge. I imagine that my life for the next 6 or 8 years (or more) will consist of a lot of mountains, piles, dust bunnies and quickie meals. All I need is one gummy grin from the little pumpkin and I melt, and I know that nothing in the world is better than this little girl that has made us a family. But having a little one in the house is a lot harder to get used to than I thought it would be.
Learning to be a mom, on the other hand, is absolutely awesome! Eden is growing so quickly, in every way but "out." She is so long, so smiley. She's trying to figure out this rolling over business. Loves to cuddle. And has started gazing at me throughout an entire nursing session. Talk about melting your heart. Those big, blue eyes look up at me without breaking away and it's rare that I escape without misty eyes.
As much as I dread the emotions I will face when I go back to work, I have a feeling that will help a bit. While I am at home, there is absolutely nothing that I do that is even remotely close to who I was before Eden came along. Everything is new. When I go back to work, I will be in familiar territory. Except that I won't really be the same Molly. *sigh* I'm not much for transitions.
I wish Bryan and Rosy and their friends (whose names already escape me) the very best with their new little ones. Being a new mommy myself brings a whole new perspective to my relationship with other women. Because, now, I've been there...and I know that new mommies just need a little mothering themselves, too.
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