The Boobie Monster

I have a lump.

I'm sure it's a plugged duct. Pretty sure. Gonna schedule an appointment to get it checked out, but if engorged breasts are any indication, it's just a really stubborn plugged duct. (I know, I know, still worth a doctor's appointment.)

Anyway, all worry aside, you would have rolled on the floor in hysterics if you could have seen me last night, trying to get said lump to go away while I was nursing the little peanut. So, all the onnline forums and web sites I've read about plugged ducts suggest warm hot showers, rest, and trying to get your wee baby to nurse with their chin in the direction of the knot. Okay. Hot shower? Check. Rest? Ha. You try and rest while your chest is on fire. Now, trying to nurse with her chin facing the knot.....

Okay, the knot's on top, and I really don't think Peanut would enjoy nursing while being held upside down in the air. So I'm on my hands and knees on the bed. She's on the bed, too, with her legs sticking up by myhead. My tank top is raised but due to my position has fallen around my armpits and ballooned out in front of my face. And hers. Can't have that. Tuck, tuck, tuck. Okay! Now I can see the Peanut's face.

Hmmm....

Big Scary Boobie Monster is a lot larger than Peanut's head. Where is her mouth?

"Eh, eh, eh, eh," says Peanut. I must not have found her mouth yet. She's getting more insistent. "EH, EH, EH, EH."

Hm. Hey! There's her chin!! Ready....aim....stuff.... Ahhh, sweet relief. She sure has a strong suck for such a bitty little girl. (If you don't believe me, I'll show you the broken blood vessels on her cheeks.)

"EH! EH! EH!"

Drat. I lost it. We do the dance again, her head weaving back and forth on the bed, her little arms flailing in the general direction of the Big Scary Boobie Monster. My butt is in the air and I can't really breathe, but I can almost swear that her chin is exactly aligned with the lump. Okay, I think we've got it now....and.....

slurp, slurp, slurp.

IT WORKS!!!!

Hallelujah.

'Cause this Big Tired Momma is tired of the Big Boobie Monster and really just wishes he would go away.

****

Woke up this morning and the boobie was back to normal. Yay, hooray!


****

It's 2 p.m. and I just sat down to nurse. My armpit feels wierd. Hm. DRAT. It's the Big Boobie Monster, and he's back again, just switched sides. Is there no relief???

Time to drag out the pump....

p.s. NO, you don't get any pictures for this one!!!