Eden Simone

Some photos for you - and two videos - more later. xoxo

The next chapter

So, I am home now. No more work. For 3 1/2 months. That's a whole quarter. Wow. Feels wierd.

Feels wonderful.

I am so glad that I have had a couple days here to decompress and relax before Eden comes. If there are more days, that's great -- but if she comes tomorrow, it's been enough for me to settle. Realign my perspective. Calm down from the normal hustle and bustle.

We had a trial run Monday night - regular contractions every 10 minutes for about 4 hours. I washed my hair, Nate packed, we tidied the house, did the dishes, fed the cats, and went to sleep to get some rest while we could. Woke up the next morning fit as a fiddle without any contractions. It was pretty exciting while it lasted - and helped me get 50% effaced. But not much activity since.

What surprised me most about the whole thing was how interesting it was. It hurt, yes, (although relaxing did help, more than I thought it would) but it was just so interesting how your body just does what it needs to do. Nate and I can't wait for actual labor; we're so excited to see what happens, and go through this whole new experience together. To discover what it is like to work together to bring a brand new little person into the world. To turn the page and start the next chapter of our lives together.

But the interlude is wonderful, too.

Shower Shots

Erinn and Dieter, the consummate hosts.

(Note their freshly-painted red wall under their kitchen cabinets - tre chic!)

The moms - or, now, - the Grandmas!! Aren't they beautiful.
This is the quilt that my mom made for Eden - elephants! It is soooo cute.
Grandma and Grandpa Wilburn
This is me in my new favorite position - reclining on a gorgeous and incredibly comfy glider from Erinn and Dieter. Eden is going to have lots of feedings, song singing, story reading, and just plain cuddling in this chair!
Little Baby Eden will be here soon!! And her mommy is so excited!!!

Thank you, Erinn, for such a special day, and for all the little (and big!) things you did to make me feel like a princess.

My Non-Work Shower

Last Saturday was my non-work shower, the one Erinn did for us. It was a hot, hot, day, but that didn't matter because I actually went to a salon to have them wash and dry my hair. Oh, my, how wonderful was that. (And it was curly for three days afterward. I need a hairstylist.)

I also got a pedicure - one of those fancy kinds with the hot wax. I wasn't sure that was going to be a good idea with my feet so swollen these days, but it actually made them less swollen. I suppose the heat increased the blood flow and helped get all the old blood out of them. (Maybe I'm fighting nature to always try and cool them down; maybe I should be heating them up.)

Those of you who know (and love, right?) me would have laughed to see how girly I've become. Well, you wouldn't laugh at that as much as how much I'm enjoying it. Erinn bought me a brand new outfit, jewelry and all, for the shower, so I was super cute in this bright pink shirt with white flowers on it. It was the only time in my life I've ever walked into a pedicure and said, "I need some nail polish to match my outfit." hee hee hee hee hee

Okay, enough with the salon. On to the shower! Erinn was amazing. It was like Disneyland, something cute and neat everywhere you look. There was a baby shower flag in the yard, the banister was decorated, a name tag table, dollies and stuffed animals everywhere, two storyboards with pictures of my swelling belly and Eden's 4D pictures, drink menus, a decorated cake table....the list goes on and on. Everywhere my eyes landed there was something to look at.

I walked into the hallway and there was Erinn, Dieter, Debby, and my mom, all in pink (well, except for Dieter). I was hugging one of them, and this cute little stuffed elephant caught my eye. "Oh, my goodness!" I kept saying -- because I couldn't think of anything else to say! Then, OH MY GOODNESS, I realized that the cute little pink elephant was sitting on my dream glider!!!! OH MY GOODNESS, OH MY GOODNESS. All I could think about was that I was actually, really, truly going to be sitting in that rocker, holding and rocking my little girl in our own little house, really, truly. It wasn't just a nifty thought; it was really true! I was speechless and not sure how to thank Erinn and Dieter. They had done so much for me already.

I felt like a princess the rest of the day. Everyone gave me such beautiful, beautiful things, and it was fun to see everyone who came. Suzy Brown was there. I'm not sure I've seen her since our wedding ('though I've seen her husband, Bruce). Bethany from church came, even though our relationship is new and she'll be moving soon. Joan and Lois came - they are so funny together. I miss them. The Carle/Ward contingent was there, as was Aunt Virginia. Chrystal, Michelle, Patty from CBC... May even came; she just had little Zane 4 weeks ago but he was a good little baby and just slept or ate. She looks great. I hope I feel as great as she looked 4 weeks after!

Erinn and Dieter even drove the glider down to our place after all was said and done. It was a long day for me, and I'm sure even longer for them. I can never thank them enough with words; I hope they know how wonderful the day was and how special they made me feel!

Erinn and mom took pictures so hopefully they'll send a few my way so I can post them here. Just wait 'till you see the adorable elephant quilt that mom made!!!

Thank you, all, for everything!!!

Little Eden's Latest

I'm too pooped to write much, but wanted to get these photos up....she's 6 lbs, 4 oz. and everything looks great!

My Work Shower

Well, here are some shots from my work shower. It was such a neat day! It was a hard day when I woke up that morning - Nate was still gone, and it was just a hard morning. But my spirits were lifted to see all the sweet things De Anna did for me, and all the people that came - it really touched me how many people were there. The room was really cute, too, with fresh flowers and balloons. De Anna did a great job. And we got a lot of really cute things for Eden, too.

I took all the presents home and left them in Eden's room (along with the mylar balloon boquet) so that when Nate came home he could have a little party of his own. We had a lot of fun moving around the furniture this weekend and going through all the stuff. Nate put all the clothes in the dresser. He kept holding things up and saying, "Oh, this is so cute!" He had not seen any of the new stuff or hand-me-downs yet. We're going to have to change Eden's outfit every few hours just so she has a chance to wear everything!

My non-work shower is this weekend - I can't wait!! Erinn is throwing that party, so I'm sure it will be a lot of fun. She took me shopping today to buy me something new to wear - isn't that the sweetest thing? And I'm going to go get my hair done and a pedicure that morning before I go. Isn't that decadent??? I normally would never pay someone to wash and blow dry my hair, but I get so tired out doing it myself that this is a super-special treat. Anyway, it should be a fun day. I'm really looking forward to it.

And then, after the showers are over, we'll be all ready to get the room set up in earnest, and can buy the necessary things that don't come during one of the showers. And then Eden will be here! How exciting.

Touch and go...

It's bumpy road, these Workshop weeks.

I went up to visit Nate while he was in LA this past week. When he's at the workshop he's on, 24/7, and it's hard to get his attention. But I've seen him there enough by now that at least I know what to expect. It's hard to see him so stressed out. And I miss him while he's gone. And I miss the things that he's missing because he's too distracted to hear about them while he's gone. But in the grand scheme of things it's really not that bad. I can't imagine what military families go thorugh. That would be like the Workshop on steroids, times 100%. It was good to see him, though, and I know he misses being around to watch over me and make sure that Eden and I are okay.

Speaking of Eden, she is getting big enough now that her movements are further apart, but when she does move they are much more apparent. I can often feel her bones--maybe a heel or an elbow?--through my stomach. She must still be head-down, back out, because I think what I feel deep inside must be her arms and what I feel on the surface of my belly must be her legs and feet. She has become most definitely active between 4 and 6 p.m. and again later in the evening, around 9 or 10. I wonder what she looks like while she's moving around in there. It makes me smile when all of a sudden I get a 1-2-3 jab in the side; it's like our little secret that she's horsing around in there, and only she and I know it.

Anyway, now that I'm back I have to get used to living alone all over again. I've got a lot to do to keep me busy, which is the key to success. And there are other perks, like the bathroom stays cleaner longer, and the laundry doesn't pile up as quickly. For the record, though, I'd trade it all in a nanosecond to have Nate back home!

New Tummy Shots

Okay, Abigail wanted to see my tummy progress, so here are some new photos:

And here are my feet, which have all of sudden turned into big sausages with little sausages attached. (My hands are pretty puffy, too, depending on the time of day...)

And, here is a shot that we took accidentally while trying to get the camera to work, but I'm including it because (a) I love the light in this room this time of day; (b) I wanted Hilary to see how good the coffee table looks in our living rom; (c) the clutter depicts some of my favorite preggie snacks (cherries, chocolate cake, root beer); and (d) didn't Mom do a great job of cleaning up our back yard??

Speaking of which, when Nathan and I got home from Danny's graduation we noticed that two of our plants are blooming, which they have never done before. I will have to take a photo soon so you can see.

I'm tired and am off to take a nap.

Seven Things I Know Now That I Didn't Know Before

Pregnancy has given me a new and different perspective on a few things - and also taken me down some paths I never expected to find myself on. For instance, I have found that:

* The pregnancy waddle has nothing to do with carrying extra weight, it's the jingle-jangle of four loose pelvic bones scrunching together without any ligament support

* One really doesn't need coffee to survive; decaf lattes are just as nice (this, of course, will fly out the window once the child has arrived)

* Sometimes--at parties or events--it's nice to go to the bathroom not because you need to pee, but because you really just need a chance to sit down and get off your feet for a few minutes

* Nobody cares how much you eat; in fact, they encourage it (this can be dangerous)

* People walk fast

* There is a Secret Glance that pregnant women give each other in an elevator or across an aisle at a grocery store that says, "hey, I know just what you're going through and hang in there!" without ever having met the other person

* All mattresses are NOT created equal

Home Sweet....Home?

Today continued the slow advance of "The Great Jarrell Family Clean-Out," otherwise known as "The Greatest Household Purge I've Ever Taken Part In."

Among other things, we moved the big bookshelf out of the music room into our bedroom, threw away another 5 or 6 garbage bags full of trash, and have yet another big pile of stuff to go to Goodwill tomorrow. Our little house is so tiny and so short on storage space that it's really taken a paring down to get everything to fit without that extra bedroom for storage.

I cannot believe how much crap we have been living with. And, seriously, I mean crap. We have not given away or tossed a single thing that we've used in the last year. Most things we haven't used in at least the last 2 years, if not longer. It's just stuff that's moved with us from place to place--things that have piled up along the way that we've been either too lazy or too sentimental to get rid of.

And, even though it's all useless to us right now, it is still hard to see it go. It's become familiar landscape to us, and it's odd to part with something so familiar. It feels like I'm losing a part of myself. Which is silly, because it's not a needed or useful part of myself.

Some things are items that we've enjoyed having over the past few years. Pots, picture frames, dishes, books.... But they are not the things we enjoy right now, so it is time for them to move on to become someone else's things to enjoy, so that we are able to make room for the things that we do currently use and need.

But.....my! Even this change is a little difficult.

Why do I feel a slight twinge of regret when I walk into our bedroom and see different furniture in there? A fleeting thought came and went that I should have taken a picture before we moved everything so that Eden would know what it looked like before we moved it all around for her.

What?!?!?

Perhaps it is just my irrational, tired, gestational brain that comes up with these hare-brained ideas. (Yeah, right; I used to be the most nostalgic pack rat I know. I think these are just momentary lapses.)

On the other hand, it's nice to get rid of the extra weight. It makes our home seem larger, and more peaceful. It isn't so difficult to find things any more (or to put them away, either.)

Still, I wonder if I've become at all obsessed with cleaning out our house. I wonder if I'll find myself dripping in the hall post-shower wondering where all the extra towels went, or rumaging though the bedroom trying to find a least one pair of pre-pregnancy pants. If we're lucky, Nate will still own all his guitars by the time we're done and we won't be missing any power cords to his amps.

Really, it makes me grateful for all that we do have. We live like royalty in a land of plenty, and everything we have is a gift.

Little Eden

Our little baby girl - somewhat shy, but growing just as she should. She measures perfectly to-the-day except for her long little legs, which are 2 weeks ahead of schedule. She weighs 2 lbs 7 oz and her heartbeat is 141. (All normal.) She's in the 77th percentile (also quite normal). She's also lying head down, back out, which is perfect delivery position (she apparently is not a procrastinator like her mother). Yay Eden!! Isn't she cute?!?

Buddha Belly

I thought I would try and write a post about something non-baby, seeing as most, if not all, of my posts have been about pregnancy since last December or so. But, today was a big day in preggy-land, so I'll have to save my other posts for later.

Folks at work like to refer to my "buddha belly" because I am carrying quite high and all in front. Every week or so it seems to "pop" a bit more--enough that I feel substantially bigger all of a sudden. Most of the time I feel cute and not huge; I'm sure that is still to come. But, for now, I'm enjoying watching my belly grow.

Tonight, I saw it move!!! I've been feeling Eden wiggle around in there for about a month now. Today I was lying on the couch on my back, and all of a sudden I got that funny "bluoup" feelling in my tummy and I looked down and she must have done a complete flip, because my belly rose and fell in the oddest way. I called Nate over and he saw "bluoup" #2. That was pretty cool.

Then, later in the evening, I was sitting on the couch with my hands holding up my belly, and I felt a kick or a knee. Not just inside, like it's been up to this point, but actually felt her with my hand through my buddha belly. It is so neat!!! I wonder what it is like being in there all dark and wet and curled up, with a million strange and muffled noises coming through. (Today that would have been loud live music and vacuuming.) I wonder what she feels like when I'm in my car and the vibrations of my mis-aligned tires make my tummy jiggle?

I can't believe I'm already five and a half months. I'm not really counting because otherwise I would get anxious and nervous. So, every once in awhile I check and I'm always surprised at how far I've come.

Tomorrow is a long day for me; I had better go crawl into bed. As much as I enjoyed being at Erinn's house all weekend I can't wait to crawl back into my own bed with my own pillows and our new mattress. That mattress is one of the best things that we've ever done for ourselves...

Ultrasound Photos

So, here are pictures of our little girl. We had a visit with our nurse practicioner today and she said that Eden scored an A+ on her ultrasound. I measure right on target. Eden was a little squirmy but we found her heartbeat, and it was steady and strong. We could also hear a lot of swishing, which the NP said was the baby moving around inside.

Here are Eden's little feet. She had her legs crossed at the ankles so that is why they look like they are on the wrong side.































Here is her left arm, with her knees drawn up to her chest.

















This is a somewhat scary photo at first, but it'as actually pretty cool. The rad tech caught her eyeball and you can see the little lens of her eye. Her nose looks a little funny here, though. :)
















And here are my favorite photos--the ones of her profile. Here her little nose is so cute, and you can see her arm. When we were taking the ultrasound, her little arms were waving all about in that cute, awkward, baby way, and you could see her little hands.












































That's our little girl!!

A Day of Delight, of Paradise

My little girl's name is Eden.

Of course, that's all assuming that she is, in fact, a girl. Without amniocentesis there is always a chance that it might be a boy.

But the rad tech sounded pretty sure...

Eden means "delight." I think that pretty much sums up how I feel today!

Pictures come tomorrow...

Tucson Part 2: All's Well That Ends with Friends and Dry Heat

I opened the door of my hotel room and knew I had to get myself under control if I was going to get anything to eat. To my dismay, the wet towels from the earlier flood were piled up in the same place on the bathroom floor (where they had been since I first called the front desk at 12:30!). Already at the end of my rope with hotel, I called the front desk and politely said that the wet towels from earlier repairs were still on my bathroom floor and could they please come take care of it? Absolutely, they replied. Right away.

Mmmhmm.

Well, my dinner choices were limited at this point. It was 7:30 and I had no debit card to get cash because the bank had put a stop on our card due to travel (no complaints with the bank—they watch our account for us very well). Which is generally no problem; we just use our credit card for things until we call in to take off the stop. But I was tired and hungry and cashless. I considered ordering room service, but had no faith in the hotel to actually deliver said room service. I considered pizza, but had no patience to wait another hour for food. So, after a panicked phone call to Nate (poor Nate!) I grabbed the credit card and went down the gift shop.

Gift Shop Dinner
2 plastic individual bowls Frosted Shredded Wheat
1 small package beef jerky
1 ripe banana
1 apple
1 orange
1 frappacino-sized cup 2% milk
Spoon

The gift shop lady was SO nice. I was obviously distressed, and I told her I was buying dinner when she suggested I go next door and order something from the restaurant for dinner instead. She kept apologizing for what had happened to me, and ended up giving me the milk for free.

(Second Note: I’m sitting by the pool and Steve just came out and asked if I could be interested in a decaf double latte. Bliss. He makes really good lattes.)

I decided it was highly unlikely there were towels in my room at this point, so I stopped at the front desk on my way back up to my room to request a towel. There was a whole stack of towels on the desk, but the young man behind the desk had to go downstairs to get some more. (All day long, every individual I spoke with was extremely considerate and very friendly—almost sickeningly sweet—but none of them ever actually did anything. It was a very odd experience.)

Interestingly enough, once I got back up to my room I had 7 towels within 10 minutes. It was as if they don’t do housekeeping between noon and 7:30 p.m. I did a bad thing and left the wet towels in the hallway. When one of the two towel-deliverers brought me some towels I said, “You might want to take these wet ones, too. They’ve been in my room all day, ever since they fixed my broken toilet.”

She said, “I can’t pick them up without gloves.”

I said, “Yes, it was gross for me, too.”

“You should have called housekeeping.”

ARRRGGGGHHHHHH!! Okay, regain composure…

“I did call housekeeping: three times since 12:30.” (Or, at least, that’s what I assumed I was doing when I called the front desk and asked them to clean my room. Perhaps the front desk doesn’t have the number for housekeeping.)

Well, she did take care of them. I think all the people I was short with figured I was just a crazy lady with red-rimmed eyes and, hopefully, they noticed my baby belly and have known or been a pregnant lady at some point in time.

I ate my dinner (quite filling, actually) and tried to work on the Pulse. It was hard, though—I had been so upset and now I was really tired. More than anything I was frustrated because I knew that now I would have to spend time working on it while I was at Steve and Gayle’s house, which is NOT my idea of a good vacation.

But when Nate rounded the door into my conference room to pick me up the next day, and we walked out the door and I saw Steve and Gayle there by their car, arms wide open, I knew I was in the right place and all was okay. I must be like Pavlov’s dog, conditioned to associate relaxation and contemplation with this amazing locale and these wonderful people.

The warm, dry air is soft on my skin as I sit in the shade by the pool. The desert is beautiful, and full of wildlife. From their back porch I look out into a wash, full of Sonoran desert beauty: ocotillo, saguaro cactus, pallo verde. Rabbits, quail, and birds are most common. There are a million birds singing and hopping around, finding snacks in trees, cacti and holes in the ground. We also saw a hawk, and some turkey vultures. And, near dusk on our last day, I see a coyote strolling up the wash. The nearby rusty-brown mountains rise up to meet a brilliant blue sky, and it is beautiful beyond compare. And quiet.

Very quiet.

And all is well.

Tucson Part 1: Trouble in the Big City

Oh, my goodness… What extraordinary contentment met me when I saw Steve and Gayle yesterday afternoon, outside the Hotel Arizona in sunny Tucson.

It certainly did not begin that way. The last two weeks have been extraordinarily difficult. Time at home was a rarity, and time with Nate rarer still; with work demands and all my extracurricular activities coming to a head, and a sudden plethora of gigs and other work demanding Nate spend his time away from home, working to help pay for our staggering tax bill.

Early Friday morning, Nate dropped me off at the airport in front of the Southwest terminal. I was unusually productive for the hour or so before my flight to Tucson boarded, which gave me a feeling that the day might end up being a productive and successful one. I had an IABC meeting to attend—one of two annual meetings for president-elects prior to their taking the helm of their respective local chapters. Unfortunately, the meeting coincided directly with the writing and editing phase of our monthly Pulse newsletter, of which I am editor.

This would not have been an issue if Nate and I had not planned a little mini-vacation with Steve and Gayle at their Tucson home, post-conference. We stayed here with them last year for a few days, and it was the most relaxing and enjoyable vacation we have ever had. Steve and Gayle are co-directors with Nate for the National Guitar Workshop, and they have spent many weeks together every summer traveling the West Coast and overseeing the week-long guitar camps put on by the NGW. So we have become great friends along the way.

My plan was to skip out on the group dine-around that evening and finish up the Pulse in my hotel room. Then, my mind could be free for a few days until we returned home.

Ah, plans. Little did I know a perfect storm was brewing.

When I arrived at the hotel at 10:30 a.m. I told the front desk I knew I was very early, but did they have any rooms they could give me for early check-in. (I was very tired and banking on a morning nap to get me through the day.) But no, they could not “check anyone in until 3 p.m.,” so I inquired as to the surroundings and got a code to log on to the free wireless. I figured I would make the best of it and work on the Pulse now.

After a watery bean and cheese burrito I settled at a table outside the restaurant with a Twix bar and a large glass of milk (to try and get the burrito taste out of my mouth). I checked my email and worked a little on the newsletter, but was soooo sleepy I could barely hold my head up. Oh, well.

(Note: Gayle just brought me a ramekin full of lightly sugared strawberries and purple grapes. She is the consummate hostesss!)

At noon I had reached a new low for myself and figured I would go beg the front desk to at least let me sleep on a couch somewhere (this is what pregnancy will do to you—it takes you to a place of extreme desperation that does away with any inhibitions you might have otherwise possessed.) When I got up to the desk, they were checking in a group of ladies so I took my place in line and checked in like the rest of them. SCORE. I had a bed. And time for a quick 30-minute nap before my meeting started.

On my way out I went to the bathroom (a common occurrence in pregnancy) and then changed out of my travel clothes into meeting clothes. When I went to turn off the bathroom light I noticed the floor was flooded and the toilet still running. So I called the front desk and said there was a flooding emergency. They said they would take care of it, so off to my meeting I went.

At our 3:00 break, Rob, one of my colleagues, said he needed to go check on his room because earlier his bathroom ceiling had been leaking water.

I said, “What a coincidence! I had water problems, too. My toilet overflowed earlier.”

Rob said, “What floor are you on?”

“Four.”

“I’m on three! What room are you in?”

“Four-twenty.”

“No way!! I’m in three-twenty!”

At which time I had to reassure Rob that it was not dirty water that had been overflowing through his ceiling, just running water. I’m still not quite sure he believed me. On his return, Rob told me the problem was taken care of (though the room still messy) so I assumed my room was in the same state of repair and we both assumed that housekeeping would replenish our towel supplies and wipe down the floors by the time we returned from our meeting, at 5:30.

Ah, no. That didn’t happen.

When I got back up to my room at 5:30 I called the front desk again, said that my room had been fixed of a leaky toilet but that all my towels were wet on the floor and could they come take care of that and bring me new towels. “Of course! We’ll take care of that for you right away,” they said.

I tried to work on the Pulse a bit, but it was gaining on 6 p.m. and I really wanted to get some food and disappear back to my room before the crowd met for dinner in the lobby at 6:30. I was really hungry (my last meal was the watery burrito at 10:45) and didn’t want to wait until after they had gone, so I thought I’d slip down to the restaurant and order a burger to-go.

But I met everyone in the lobby.

Don’t get me wrong—I love these people, and I had things I needed to talk with them about. But I was exhausted, hungry, and near wit’s end and only wanted to be in my room, eating and getting my work done so I could go to sleep.

I ordered my burger and sat down with them while I waited. 30 minutes passed and they left, and I went to check on my hamburger. They sent three people back to check on it over the next 30 minutes, none of which returned until the manager came back out at 7 p.m. and asked me what exactly my order had been; they needed to put it in again.

At this point, I was holding back tears and was SO hungry and tired that all I could blurt out was, “Don’t cook anything. I’m pregnant and I’m starving and I just need to eat. I cannot wait anymore. Thanks, though.”

At the end of my rope, I walked as fast as I could through the hotel lobby to the elevators, trying not to let the tears fall or look noticeably upset. At the last minute I decided to take the stairs, unable to face an elevator ride with another human being. I couldn’t hold back the sobs on my way up the four flights of stairs to my room, and by the time I got to room 420 I was fully sobbing, out of breath, and really—really—hungry.

(to be continued…)

Happy Tuesday

It's been a rough couple of days. Who knew I would dissolve into tears
after discovering the cats had slept on our clean sheets? Or that I'd
be the picture of happiness one minute and a nervous wreck the next?

(Ah, anyone who has been pregnant before would know all these things,
but that never makes it easier when it actually happens to you.)

So, I have a slew of stuff I could write about, but I'm just going to
say, "Happy Tuesday!" Today is a new day and I have lots of mascara in
my purse.

Miscellany

Things I crave:
Strawberries, water, tomatoes (tomatoes?? I hate tomatoes!)

Things that make me gag:
Brushing my teeth, chicken (unless it's got a lot of sauce on it)

Things that make Lefty squirm:
Loud music (dancing); sitting at my desk at work too long (bored); rolling over in bed (mom, I'm sleeping!)

Things that I smell more than usual:
Catbox, laundry detergent, the refrigerator (Nate swears it doesn't smell and I clean it all the time, but it still stinks)

Things that make me happy:
Nathan rubbing my tummy; hearing our baby's strong heartbeat; sleeping on our new mattress

I am reticient.

My sister Hilary recently commented on her current state of somnolence.

I am not somnolent.

Rather, I am religiously making sure that I get adequate sleep, so as
to be the best baby-making factory I can be. (I have no trouble
eating. Giving up wine and beer was no problem. Sleeping? That one I'm
not good at, and it's taking some work.) So, safe to say, I am not
(yet) somnolent.

I am reticent.

Merriam-Webster online defines reticent as "inclined to be silent:
reserved; restrained in expression, presentation, or appearance."

I was pondering my reticent nature the other day, wondering if perhaps
I should be more outgoing, dress a little crazier, express myself more
often. After a short moment of self searching I decided it must be
the pregnancy hormones making me think such crazy thoughts. Why on
earth would I choose not to be reticent? I enjoy watching the world go
by as I remain silent. It gives me food for thought. I enjoy listening
to others converse. I learn things about them I would not catch if I
was leading the conversation. I enjoy my mostly-subdued wardrobe. It
makes it easier to get dressed in the morning without having to plan
out a whole outfit. Outfit? The thought of having to put together an
ensemble every morning makes me shudder. I envy business men who can get away with a bunch of dress shirts, ties, a couple good suits and a
killer pair of shoes and not have much else to think about. (Wait,
that sounds like my wardrobe.)

Anyway.

Ever since I was little I was proud of the fact that I have a whole
world of things going on inside my head in a space that no one can
interrupt. It is my own special, private little world and I am the
only one that knows what is going on in there. I can make all sorts of
things happen in my imagination, solve all sorts of problems, come up
with all sorts of ideas. Make plans. Dream dreams. I can hate, love,
take, give, argue, forgive, appease, enrage, debate and concede, all
by myself as I watch the world spin around me. It is like my own
little workshop in my head, and no one can see the structures I am
building (no matter how magnificent or small) until such a time as I
choose to share them.

So, I am reticient. Perhaps it is my way of dealing with the
complexity of the world.

I ran across this quote awhile back and it has stuck with me ever
since. I think it explains it all perfectly.

"Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise,
trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of these things and
still be calm in your heart." (unknown)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder... ?

It has been FOREVER since I posted anything. What's the deal? Let's see....work, work, eat, sleep, work, work, eat, sleep. Clean house. Buy groceries. Laundry. Work, work, eat, sleep. Business trip. Birthdays.

This past week was a good week, except that Nathan was very sick again with the flu. For the second time this season! Sheesh. Last Sunday we played at Ed & Debby's church with Eric and that was fun. Eric's like a rock star there, and it was fun singing with an adequate sound system and organized people. Monday, Nathan and I had a delicious dinner at Olive Garden, which was a nice little date for us. Except he couldn't figure out why he was so tired. Yeah, that would be the flu. Here I am in my cute new clothes on our way out to eat.

The rest of the week consisted of him sleeping on the couch 24 hours a day while I tried to catch up at work from my business trip and take
care of all the important stuff at home. (Read, juice and soup for the
sicko and keeping the cat hair and laundry under control for me.) It
was a good thing he rested because he had four gigs and two rehearsals
this weekend, and I barely saw him. I did go to his gig at the South
Park Bar & Grill last night. I love listening to him play and watching
him do his thing. He really is a great musician.

Tomorrow we have a Heating & Cooling Guy coming out to give us an
estimate on a/c for our little homestead. I hope it's not too much.
Hey, Abby, which two products did Mike say we should go with? I
forget. Anyway, Dave the Heating & Cooling Guy sounds like a nice guy
and comes personally recommended by our realtor, so I hope it's a good
fit.

Otherwise, I'm hoping to get some scrapbooking in this weekend. And
I'd like to start cleaning out some of these overstuffed cupboards in
my house. For instance, it takes me forever to get dressed in the
morning because all my regular clothes and all my preggy clothes are
mixed in together and I can barely shut my closet doors. It drives me
nuts. Time to pack away some stuff.

Sorry for the somewhat boring post, but I haven't really locked into
my creative wavelength yet this week and I just wanted to get
something out there so the rest of you know we're alive and well.
Literally!!