Eden is crying in her room right now; she usually wakes up about an hour after I put her to sleep, and needs some help getting back to sleep again. Tonight Daddy is helping her. She is doing so well. This is night #3 in her crib until about 1 a.m. or so. She took to it all of a sudden a couple days ago; I don't know how to explain it, but she sort of "claimed" it as her "spot."
She's started walking on her own, now, too. Usually only when she doesn't realize she's doing it. Sometimes she'll realize what she just did and look up at us with a look of such pride and accomplishment. What a big little girl she is becoming, and so fast.
And then there are times like tonight when she is just a baby again and just wants to nurse and be wih mommy. Back and forth, back and forth, between baby-hood and the threshold of toddler-hood.
So, Daddy took her in to bed and they are snuggled up together in the fresh, clean sheets, snoozing in the glow of the night light. Oh, I love my little family!
She's also started to wean herself. Just not as interested during the day, and when she does nurse, it's just for a moment before she's off and discovering the world again. This makes me happy and sad, both; happy, because it's happening naturally and easily and of her own accord; sad, because I must let go even though I'm not sure I'm quite ready. It's a wonder how she is so enthusiasticly letting go. The joy of innocence!
I find miyself looking at her, now that she's older and no longer an infant, and realizing how many days on top of days we have in our future. Was it the magic of a newborn or the fact that she was our first that made each day seem....all-inclusive....like this is all there is?
A few thoughts on that thought: when I say, "this is all there is," it's not because "this" is dreary or dull; it's because every day is precious and she changes so fast. My focus was so fully in the present that I couldn't grasp the fact that there are chapters ahead. That said, there are no guarantees for the future, so all the more reason to jump headfirst into the water of "Now" and soak in "Today." To glory in the sore nursing sessions, the messy house, the weary bones and tired eyes. Because there will never ever be another moment exactly like this one. So soak it in, Mommy, and enjoy every second of it while you can!
I am capturing every moment in my memory. Like this evening, when I was in the kitchen and she was standing in the dining room next to the trash can, hiding behind the little wall that separates the two rooms. She'd bend over sideways at the waist, her eyes wide with mirth and merriment and she peeked around the corner. Her big, toothy grin would slowly emerge from behind the wall and she'd laugh and wave her arms as if to say, "I am SO funny! Isn't this wall great? This is the greatest joke EVER and I'm playing it on YOU, Mom!"
But memories do fade, so that is why I am also capturing every moment here. Because memories are not just best kept, but best shared.
Just like giggles.
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